- No, in fact, it would be ideal to prevent them.
- The problem is not the avoidance of a conflict; what makes it negative is:
- The reason why you want to avoid.
- Fear or anxiety are the worst reasons.
- The cost of avoiding it
- You never charge what you lend, live with someone you are no longer comfortable with, work in places you no longer want, find it hard to say no, tolerate abuses “voluntarily”, conformism projects or weakness of character and they grab you as a pig.
- You let things stagnate for years.
- You channel feelings that occur through the isolation or consumption of substances.
What have you come to tolerate to avoid a conflict?
The real importance of the subject.
A Greek tragedy about the half-open refrigerator is perhaps somewhat exaggerated.
If it solves the problem or not, avoid it.
If you throw it under the rug and the problem comes up again and again then avoiding is not the best strategy.
What are you afraid of conflict avoiders?
To the reaction of the other.
Punishment or disappointment.
In couples, an overly demanding person can shoot in the other avoidance behaviors and a vicious circle forms.
To emotions derived from conflicts.
- Before the conflict there are two perspectives:
- Orientation towards feelings.
- Hypersensitive people to whom the emotional impact of themselves or of others is a priority over logic or facts.
- Orientation towards thoughts.
- People who recognize the emotional cost of a decision, procure the one that causes the least possible impact, but the greatest benefit achievable for the system (relationship or person).
To have their image and identity damaged.
- They do not want to be the bad guys in the story.
- This is derived from distorted self-esteem.
- To his incompetence to resolve conflicts.
- Derived from authoritarian parents, who always believed they were right, they were distributors of blame, who demanded blind obedience and devotion, did not listen to arguments or problems with the handling of emotions.
There are those who work with conflicts but emotional situations cannot handle them.